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Archive for the ‘naughty, naughty’ Category

YLL has a limited repertoire of tools to keep the unruly in line.  Far too often library patrons feel the urge to behave in a manner unbefitting the hallowed halls of knowledge or glorious palaces of information also known as Your Public Libraries.

YLL could, of course, call the police–that is how they handle the issue at many Other Public Libraries, but YLL (supported by the library administration) chooses not to live in a police state.  So, with legal recourse and fisticuffs both off the table, YLL wields her arsenal of behavior modification tools including–but not limited to–humour, compassionate kindness, gentle remonstrance, firm severity, steely-eyed rage, and…cuteness.

Should YLL be ashamed of utilizing diminutive height,  coy smiles, rounded eyes, occasional giggles and a breathy tone to force the unruly into socially acceptable behaviour?  YLL knows that some of you think so.  However, while YLL admits that this method is hardly a pillar of the feminist revolution to which YLL is hopelessly devoted, the power to quickly subdue the enemy with little to no effort and with attributes with which YLL is naturally blessed proves too convenient to resist.

As YLL is disallowed to perform physical violence,  it seems that the only alternative is to occasionally cause the masses to choke on cuteness.  And YLL–unashamed, unrepentant and perhaps a bit pleased with herself–feels no apology is necessary.

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Your Local Librarian is a tolerant person.

YLL assumes that when a library patron is breaking some rule or regulation it is due to the fact that a) they have never been made aware of said rule, b) they have forgotten said rule, or c) they are physically incapable of remembering any rules whatsoever.

For this reason YLL always gently reminds library patrons of whichever rule they happen to be breaking.  Well, rather,  the first time each day that they need reminding.  If YLL is forced to remind you of a specific rule more than once within say, less than five minutes YLL will become progressively less jolly and understanding.

For example: If one were eating cornflakes straight out of the box while looming directly over the keyboard of the public internet workstation one was using YLL would gently inform you that foodstuffs are not allowed at the computers and you would be politely directed to return said box of cornflakes to your backpack.  If then less the two minutes later YLL distinctly hears you reaching into the box for more sustenance of the cornflake variety YLL may be less warmly affable when approaching you for the second time.

Fortunately you may save yourself from 62 inches of stern disapproval by sheepishly inserting your handful of cornflakes into your front pants pocket.  If you take this tack YLL will simply fix you with a steely eye and inform you that you are in danger of being evicted from the computer workstation before retiring to a staff-only area to laugh hysterically.

You’ve been warned.

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